the confusion of hail stones

We saw hailstones after year more than 8 years, 8 years because that’s the age of my oldest dog in human years and she had never seen it so after the simple deduction I got the answer.

 Hail is a form of solid precipitation. It is distinct from ice pellets (American sleet), though the two are often confused.[1] It consists of balls or irregular lumps of ice, each of which is called a hailstone. Ice pellets (American sleet) fall generally in cold weather while hail growth is greatly inhibited during cold surface temperatures.[2]   (borrowed from Wikipedia)

Both of our dogs’ elder Julie and younger  Hera who is just two years were super confused why was someone hitting them with cold stones and as a result, they created a ruckus with their barks as they replied to the nonstop fall of the stones as the night fell. next day neither would eat nor reply to any of our calls, they both just slept near the gate confused why would we throw stones at them. Well, that’s the explanation our naive brains formed to explain their behavior as we spent hours explaining we were at no fault, why would we hit such wonderful good girls to them while other humans tried to form a rational explanation of our behavior.


1.before hail




3.still raning


4. next morning


5. clean and beautiful


6.angry, upset


7. no use calling for lunch



Dark clouds took over the clear blue sky, with every passing second it became darker.

But the attention-grabbing factor were the winds that began to sweep up the dust that lay everywhere in cracks on walls, in between leaves of trees, among the flower petals, on inaccessible  tin roofs, on  paved roads; invading every little space available and into the rooms if one was too late to close the windows. All humans scurried indoors. Looked like a huge vacuum cleaner had been switched on by gods.

In a couple of hours, the Rain began.

Amidst lighting and sounds of thunder, huge drops in a very slow fashion touched the lips of the parched earth. If the rain were human you’d probably hear the laughter and see her happiness and if the earth had arms you’d see him raise his arms to get closer to his beloved.

However, the wait was not yet over. She the Rain did not give in easily; all she did was tease the earth leaving him wanting for more. The sky remained black, wind replaced Rain and the cleaning continued.

It was already night when the Rain started again now accompanied by very frequent flashes of lightning and sounds of thunder; which kept many mortals tossing and turning all night.

When the morning came the rain was still quenching the thrust of earth, it was raining but slowly and gracefully she came to a complete halt.

The Sun peeked from in between the clouds as the darkness vanished. Everything looked new “clean” as if overnight the earth had shifted to a new planet.

 That’s how the first Rain of the season graced us, it brought about a lot of wonderful changes but I get unaccountable pleasure whenever I see The rose plants in my garden that bore flowers of various colors which now looks a lot “fresh” vibrant and the trees surrounding my house looks greener. I just could spend all day just watching them.

The sweet smell, when the first few drops of water touched the dry soil after months of dry winter, has always been beautifully en-gripping something no words describing it would ever do justice only experiencing it will. I’ve always waited for it each year of my being; it always without fail manages to instill in me the numerous good reasons for being alive.

I love when rain falls layer after layer of individual drops. Like us, it’s also is experiencing its short life and meeting alone the earth for the first time. Individual drops always falling alone but become part of something so much bigger collectively, teaching us we collectively we can be so much more beautiful than we could ever be alone.


The Hiprocacy of judgement

“But you don’t look disabled.”

Both baba and I stared with an apparent look of surprise, disbelief, and sadness at him I was shocked with loss of words and baba was quiet too. Some people think saying nothing is a sign of approval, he did the mistake too as he launched into the topic of “well-meaning” advice as I controlled my angry tears from falling.

The person in question is a disability rights activist working in the area for the betterment and upholding the rights of the people with disabilities. It was just an informal meeting he had actually come to meet baba so it was just a chance meeting with him I did not look to him to validate my life but of all people I was confident he would fully understand but he just decided to interrogate me as a criminal and forgot the pain of not being understood.

I have an invisible disability, yes I can walk for limited distance before I have to without option take the help of my disability aid “my walking stick” also there are a long list of things I can’t do because my body won’t allow, writing for a long without rest is one of the things. On top it all to emotionally drain me I don’t have a diagnosis just a list of probable causes. Without a definite name to refer to or a visible impairment to see no one should recognize yet surprisingly many people acknowledge my disability. However, nobody had ever insisted that I don’t have a disability this was a big blow to me especially now since I was just taking my first steps to accepting my disability as a part of my life which is a tough job once you’ve lived the life before it.

About him. He has polio so he uses a prosthetic leg and surprisingly I can’t see it because its hidden in the fabric of his pant, his gait is normal he came riding a motorbike himself and uses no disability aids.

I think we as humans see our own things as superior be it nation or culture and of all things even pain and disability, we are always ready to judge others harshly on the criteria that only we see apt.We only see ourselves and label deviations from it as not true why?

I claimed again and again loudly the truth of my life and so did baba only to be dismissed for he was adamant in his judgment all I needed he said was exercise and a good doctor. What a false notion we have that everything can be solved by doctors, medicine, and exercise. Some people suffer from a superiority complex, he is a person with the disability he certainly has seen and suffered a lot but that does make him the encyclopedia of disabilities.When you pass judgment according to your own laws when you are the judge and also the jury you will always incarcerate others as liars.

Remember how vast the ocean is while you many see calm somewhere there may be a storm brewing elsewhere.So is a person with immeasurable depth in the fold of character, memory, and soul.Never judge a person by just by their smile, freeness, quietness or clothes etc; maybe that’s their only line of defense they have developed rather than explaining to people who have already passed their judgment


disability, noun.

a physical or mental condition that limits a person’s movements, senses, or activities.

“children with severe physical disabilities”

synonyms: condition, disorder, affliction, ailment, complaint, illness, malady, disease;

Saraswati Puja and making friends

Will you be my friend? Let’s play together or else saying can I share your toys; I gather that’s how you make friends as a child I never had to do it consciously because no introduction or formality was required of “us” living in the paradox of insider and outsider. Though the friendship of such kind never existed beyond that of playmates for which I am entirely to blame. Nonetheless, I never had a shortage of friends.

My elder brother and I are children of a nuclear family who also happened to study in separate boarding schools far away from home. On top of it all, we came home only three times a year two of the holidays were of 10 days or less, the third one was unusually long it stretched to 3months it was our year-end holidays also popularly called winter holidays. Since 3 months were a way too long for just to be kept busy by TV, books and games we needed friends to play with; for which we needed to socialize. I can’t say for my brother but for me, it was an awful process.I hated the nuisance of the process of making friends and even more that I had to keep my opinions aside but I loved having friends. The dilemma that weighed my tiny brain, Sigh!

When you are just beginning to get tired of the holidays comes the time to celebrate “Saraswati Puja” the goddess of education also known as Vasant Panchami, is a Hindu spring festival. It is observed on the fifth day of the Indian traditional calendar month of Magha, which typically falls in the Gregorian months of January or February. It was a big deal then and even now among the school going age kids here. the whole celebration was only managed by the kids and obviously a little guidance from the adults. It was important that all kids opinionated or not kept all their difference aside. Relatively unknown kids became such fast friends that it would confuse anyone that if we told them that before “the process” we didn’t know of each other’s existence.

The kids from both sides of the street came together because a lot had to be done in such a short time. Some of the of them were;

  • To choose the all-important venue. It should be next to the street but not disturb the traffic, it should have enough open space to make a tent; etc
  • Collect money from donations.
  • Make the important budget
  • Buy the idol, the food offering, Prasad, decorative stuff for the tent; etc
  • Get electricity from the nearby house
  • Work together to make the tent and decorate.
  • Distribute prasad to everyone who came big or small
  • So many small big things

So in the end of the puja, we were still little kids but filled with the confidence that though we are small collectively we can do big things and while having fun in work friends will be made too! Happy Swarsati puja.



a new generations effort; preparations for the celebration of Saraswati Puja.


i belive but do you?


I believe in Fairy-tales, on fairies, on magic on monsters………………….

I am naive you may think, not accepting reality. I think so too! how dare I believe in something totally spun out of imagination. They for sure are children stories and I am an adult, how ridiculous would it be if a twenty-year-old told you they still believe in Santa wholeheartedly despite knowing the truth since he was 3 yrs old.

And like that stupid adult, I close my eyes every night thinking, not trying nonetheless hoping a little, a real fairy would show up in my dream tonight. She then would fulfill all my wishes for like a Genie she wouldn’t have a limited quota of three and live forever with me. Wouldn’t that just be wonderful!

I know I sound so stupid but the same thought crosses my mind over and over and accompanying it always is a big bold flashing WARNING sign.

Sometimes I forcefully stop myself from thinking about fairies but that moment of thoughtlessness lasts for only a few seconds. It is said if you stop yourself from thinking for a moment, more thoughts rush in. True!

I don’t know when I fall asleep and five minutes later my alarm rings, open my eyes and BEHOLD! It’s already morning. I’ve never experienced another instance where or when 7 hours fly by so quickly. Sadly no fairy dream, not even a glimpse nevertheless I am a dreamer and “dreamers are not quitters”.

My belief my dreams also extend to daylight, dreams don’t require eyes to be closed.

Any task I do particularly the hard stuff like the exam I am appearing for but have done almost no studying for, sometimes the easy kinds of stuff too like hammering a nail and impossible wishes like changing the color of my eyes; I wish by the turn of her magic wand all things would be done! I wouldn’t even have to get up

My dream is so pretty I sometimes wonder why even bother to return to reality  …….maybe they are just a fairy dreaming through my eyes who knows but there’s one thing I know for sure “I believe in fairy tales, on fairies, on magic, on monsters……………” oh! and also on wizards.


imaginary “real” friends


When I held it in hands I could not believe it nor could the fuzzy, funny feeling in the pit of the stomach stop and as I opened it a familiar air engulfed me …a feeling of warmth tugged my heart in this brutal winter air. Long-lost friends met again, going together on an old route of laughter.

That’s how I felt when I read Archie’s comics after a gap of more than a decade. Not exactly the feeling I experienced because for some time I could not believe that a simple comic could give so much joy and I have to think it’s because of the memories attached.

I was in class 1 when I was first introduced to it that was of course “Little Archie” it had all the little characters; as the name suggests. So there was little Archie, little Betty, little Veronica, little Jug head his dog hot dog; little Reggie and of course Mr. Weather bee was the same old bald man the principle of  Riverdale High School, miss Grundy, the cafeteria lady, Pop Tate etc. Archie always somehow managed to get into trouble.

With time I graduated to reading the “high school” Archie “version”. I loved it so much maybe because it provided me an image of a ‘cool’ school, and fun times I never had; maybe it was the happy, fun way of falling in love with a foreign language and the begging of the journey to literary books; I don’t know the reason for sure.

I sopped reading it as I entered my teen years where my peers were the circle that influenced a lot of my choices I remember they called it stupid and so did i. Nonetheless after all this time here’s a Salute to my Narnia of happy times and as the years pass by may I never be guilty of calling it stupid.

pic credit; header image credit-archie-comics-mlj-comics.jpg


 Oh! I have dreamt scenarios where I was on stage receiving an award giving a long emotional speech ending with a thunderous applaud.

Thank you, Susan, at  for nominating me for the “Sunshine Blogger Award.” thank you wordpress, thank you everyone here for making me want to write more and for making a small part of my dream come true.

Please do check Susan’s blog I am sure you’ll love it and also learn much. I am so late in accepting but I am so happy and blessed, thank you a thousand times.

Rules for “The Sunshine Blogger Award”

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to them.
  2. Answer the eleven questions asked.
  3. Nominate 11 other bloggers.
  4. Create 11 new and different questions for them to answer.
  5. List the rules.
  6. Include the “Sunshine Blogger Award” logo in your post somewhere.

here my answers to the questions;

  1. How old are you?
    • Not sure too many confusions nor do I care but “I  do love my age. Old enough to know better. Young enough not to care. Experienced enough to do it right”
  2. How old were you when you were diagnosed with mental illness or other types of chronic and/or invisible illness or grief?
    • Just turned 17 then
  3. Where do you live? (City, State, Country)
    • Nepal
  4. What makes you happy?
    • That’s a very difficult one because I have so much to choose from if I still have to choose the top would be family, friends, and books.
  5. What makes you angry?
    • Oh! That’s easy that’s the know it all people and I am better than you people
  6. When was the last time you experienced mental illness stigma or any other type of stigma or discrimination?
    • Major one less than a year ago.
  7. How were you stigmatized?
    • Claimed to be blind* visually impaired because I use a stick.
    • Called the stick useless and the doctor or a pill could fix me
    • Acting as he saw me walking and his words “I have no limbs missing”
    • Many, much more that gets my blood boiling every time I remember them.
  8. What is your favorite kind of candy?
    • I like the crunchy type.
  9. What is your favorite season and why?
    • I look forward to all seasons, weird that way.
  10. How long have you been blogging?

                 –     6-7 months now I think.

  1. Do you prefer a sunny or a cloudy/rainy day and why?
    • Can’t choose. Again weird.

 Here are the amazing eleven I nominate  “The Sunshine Blogger Award”; a small token of love and appreciation.

1. TheWrongsIMustWrite

2. Shabd Ragini

3. albits

4. Finding Rainbows In The Dark

5.The Magical Blue

6. TheGirlOnTheGo’s Blog

7. The Motivational Dope

8. Gustavo Lomas

9. Live Free 2 Sail Fast

10. The Journey

11. Follow Your Dog



 This is my list of a few of the amazingly wonderful people from the thousand I have yet to visit, read and fall in love with the words countless times.As for the questions please answer about thing others would never guess about you, in the questions of your choice.




#my story


There are numerous benefits of education and equally many critics exist too but that’s the discussion I will gladly leave out today. Today I will only acknowledge the good of education, especially in my context. At the time I fell ill and realized I had now to live with a disability; I had only completed 12 Std and was preparing for the medical entrance examination. My confidence, self-esteem, self-image was all time low. The journey ahead was dark and gloomy. I could not even toss and turn on my own, my mother a graduate and baba(father) an M.Com and MBA degree holder became my full-time carer feeding me, bathing me changing my clothes, carrying me to the toilet and doing everything for me but I never heard an uff! From them, in fact, they defended me when people said my life was now over. My elder brother was in medical school and being the daughter of this wonderfully positive, optimistic, educated family  I had promised myself I will get a bachelors’ degree when or how I didn’t know I just knew I had to. 

That determination became stronger when after coming home from the hospital I first did hold a pen and I couldn’t even draw a straight line it took literally years of practice. I somehow found the courage and did my bachelors I couldn’t even write for long without pain and I had a different walking stick then but I did complete it. The knowledge gained and that piece of paper, the degree changed my total outlook toward myself and life. Today what you see is a totally different Srijana than the old one. 

So I figured if one degree can do so much for me then why not stick to my original plan of being a doctor so today I’m on my path to give my exam for master of sociology starting on 5th Dec, my birthday and ending on 18th  I hope I do well on all my papers for which I have to study and for that I have to take a small  break from the blog.

Every dog has its day

In Nepal, the festival of light also known as Diwali is called Tihar. Similar to other Diwali observances, lamps are lit at night during Tihar, but it also has its observances that make our’s so unique. The festival of lights celebrates the triumph of light over darkness, of knowledge over ignorance, and the dissolution of barriers that separate humans from the authentic experience of the world. Nepalese Hinduism is unique in dedicating the second day of Tihar, Kukur Tihar, to the worship of dogs.

So today we celebrate kukur Tihar we thank them for their companionship, faithfulness, love and for everything thing they bring to our lives.


black=Julie, brown=Hira. Both females both previously street dogs both now family. Julie is 8 years we found her in the month July as a pup hence the name. Hira came home as a little pup and never went back.