Tired but trying

They say “what doesn’t kills you makes you stronger” but they are so wrong what doesn’t kill you just does not kill you and that may be all you get. Except sometimes what does not kill you maims you, cripples you, leaves you weak and makes you angry, sad; feel cheated.

Some things that didn’t kill me did come so close that it’s still damaging. They didn’t all make me better some made me worse and bitter. Isn’t that okay, cant something just break you? The world wants us to believe that admitting defeat makes us weak. However, you just can’t be positive all the time we may be angry, frustrated, sad, annoyed, scared, anxious or any of the numerous negative feelings. Having feelings does not make a negative person. It only states how human you are.

I feel its okay to wish the nightmare to end, to pray furiously for the world to stop testing you, to cry yourself to sleep every night; to say aloud “I have had enough, I can’t take it anymore”. Bleed and bleed openly, there can and should be pride in vulnerability.

How can anyone be certain for sure that what I been through would make you kill yourself but then pain is relative.  So until you are broken, you don’t know what you are made of. Being broken gives you the ability to build yourself all over again. And strength for it all comes from good things family, friends, books and satisfaction of a wonderful moment.

They say “what doesn’t kills you makes you stronger” if that’s true then I am expecting my superpowers and cape any day now!